A Writers’ Empathy
by mylongdalliance
In the past few weeks I have found myself pondering the deep meaning of empathy. The ability to relate to another person through their feelings. I have always felt that I had a strong sense of empathy, however, now that I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into my characters, the challenge to empathise with some of them has become very exciting.
To be a good writer, one must develop the ability to empathise with not only their heroes, but their villains as well. Vladimir Nabokov perfected this in his incredibly raw novel, Lolita. I am in awe of the way he was able to draw the reader in so much that you at times feel sorry for the monster narrating the story.
I have consciously started to focus primarily on character developments with empathy being my priority. In order to challenge myself, I am choosing characters that are very foreign to me. In my last post “The Last Dance”, I chose to tell a story from the perspective of an elderly woman. I am 36, so I had to find a way to relate to somebody 50 years my senior. In order to do this, I thought back to times when I too felt neglected and dismissed. Periods in my life when I felt I was not in control of anything anymore. Times where I experienced loss.
There is no doubt that without empathy for each and every one of the characters that are introduced into the story, it will lack depth and the fullness required to envelop the reader. To be empathetic is to also be sensitive, and writing requires the most acute sensitivity, letting not a single thing pass you by. Like the lemon hue surrounding a blazing orange sun. Or the impossible pitch of a child as she squeals down a slippery slide.
I do believe writers are unique like this, and you can usually tell when you meet one. They will be looking at the scuffs on the side of your shoes and the way that your hair falls on your peach cheek as you speak to them in words, bouncing off your tongue like a trampoline. They will catch your words too, take them home and try to swallow them whole so that they too can understand how you felt.
Writers truly are a glorious thing.
My Long Dalliance 
Reblogged this on I, Mickologist and commented:
Wise words, and a lot I can relate to. Especially in the last paragraph. I just never thought to consciously be like this while writing!
Hopefully, my next short story will display this!
I spent half the evening at a wedding tonight photographing a photographer. The main character on my novel was a photographer and I wanted to swallow up some of those characteristics!!
Wow! Now that shows real commitment to character development! 🙂
Or crazy stalker!
No no, it’s justified 🙂
Reblogged this on It's Rosemarie's Corner.
It is very exciting relating deeply to your characters, I guess that most characters in my book are extensions of my personality in some way. Brilliant post, thank you!
Arran
Thank you! 🙂
Very interesting! I can see similarities with being a designer and painter. I observe things around me very thorough and see things that maybe others do not see. For example how the light changes the colors in a room.
I love that creatives, no matter what discipline tend to use similiar processes to create. I find it very interesting 🙂
I enjoyed this. Writing has changed me as a person, I find it difficult to judge others and am more accepting of the flaws of other people and of my own. It’s a fascinating exercise when I write about the forces of antagonism in my own work because I like to do the work of embracing their point of view, which adds an ambiguity to the process that seems to be appreciated in the finished work.
Thank you for your comment :). I agree that writing allows you to embrace people’s flaws, very very true 🙂
Reblogged this on kinginascent and commented:
I really enjoyed this post. Empathy is a really powerful tool.
Hi Rebekah, thanks for finding and following my blog. You raise some interesting points here and love your last paragraph, we writers are all observers. I hadn’t thought of us as being empathetic but you are right. Thanks for a brilliant post. SD
Thanks for writing this thought provoking piece. It’s poetic and practical 🙂
I am glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading! 🙂
Usually I don’t read other people’s blogs due to being part of a large family and always being on the go but I can tell already… Checking your blog for new posts is going to very quickly become one of those daily rituals for me, that we all have.
Oh thank you so much, I really appreciate you giving me your time 🙂
wow, this was truly amazing.
Thank you so much, I am truly humbled when I hear that my words have been positively received. Much appreciation coming at you 🙂
I agree with you. Sometimes I lose myself so much in my characters story that I start crying or laughing with them. I also believe that writers are just a medium, at one point of time, the characters develop their own personality, and then even you as their Creator has little control over their destinies. Like if the plot requires a character to die, even if they are your favourite character, you have to kill them. Would like to hear your thoughts on this?
Thank you for your comment and for taking the time to read my blog :). I love what you said about a writer being the medium. It certainly can feel like that at times. I am yet to kill off one of my characters, but watch this space!
I found this such a revealing post, it really had me thinking about my own characters. I do enjoy your posts they inspire me to keep going. You have a lovely turn of phrase
Cath ( aka Sammy’s mum)
Oh hi Cath! Thank you so so much, what a wonderful compliment 🙂 It’s so nice to hear that my writing is able to get other people to think about their own! I love this about writers. I am really inspired by the depth, but simple clarity of the classic writers like Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald. I feel that they focused more on building the prose, rather than the overall plot. I hope that makes sense? Thank you for reading! 🙂 x
So enjoyed this piece. When you say ‘There is no doubt that without empathy for each and every one of the characters that are introduced into the story, it will lack depth and the fullness required to envelop the reader, ‘ I find myself nodding. One way to get beyond stereotype and superficial characters is to give them depth and fullness, and, as you point out,a genuine empathy for characters is a way to provide that dimension.
Thank you Melissa! I am happy that you enjoyed reading my post. I appreciate the feedback 🙂